Fight or Flight
Part One (Con't)
By Roger J. Warrum
“If you don’t give me the Presidency
instead of my brother, I am going to take my family, which includes your grandchildren, and move
across the country.� Sometimes, they are even brash enough to threaten to start a company
to be your competition. This is an entirely different level of conflict than a five
year old desiring candy. The stakes are higher, but the Position is exactly the same. They are
holding your grandchildren hostage. They are holding your financial security hostage.
The list of potential hostages is endless.
I used to sit next to my mother in church. It seemed as though every
Sunday, my mother would whisper lightly into my ear, asking me to
sit very still. That light whisper set me on edge. It had the same
effect as someone scraping their fingernails down a blackboard. Consequently,
one Sunday morning when my mother leaned over to me to whisper her
standard message in my ear, I decided that I was going to take advantage
of the situation. I felt safe from her wrath, sitting among the congregation,
so I decided to hold her hostage. When she began to whisper, I yelled
at the top of my lungs, “DON’T WHISPER TO ME!� The preacher stopped
preaching and everyone in the congregation turned to see what had
happened. They looked at me and my incredibly embarrassed mother.
I had her! She was stuck and had no idea how to react. Well, for three
or four weeks I had the winning Position. I had the winning cards.
Then, one fateful Sunday morning I was squirming around in my seat,
and my mother whispered in my ear to sit still. That was my cue to
use her unwillingness to create a scene, and hold her hostage by giving
the yell. It worked before, and so again I yelled at the top of my
lungs, “DON’T WHISPER TO ME!� My mother said not a word, but took
my hand and marched me right back down the aisle and out of the church.
When we were a reasonably safe distance, she sent me a message through
another part of my anatomy (not my ears). I got the message loud and
clear. The even more important step in my education about holding
my mother hostage came next. In order not to allow my Position to
even appear successful, she then marched me back into church, back
down the aisle (I was the one now embarrassed), and back into my original
seat. I sat very still in my seat. Mother had won. I remember meeting
with one set of parents. “When our son gets upset about something,
he just leaves work. It doesn’t matter to him if we have someone in
the office or not. He will just get angry and leave. I suggested that
they begin to cross-train other members of the family for Junior’s
duties. Within a short period of time, the cross-training was complete.
Mom and dad then had a conversation with Junior, explaining that the
next time that he left work in anger, he would not be allowed to return
for one week.Also, during the time he was out of the office, he would
not be paid. Did Junior believe that
they meant what they said? Of course not! Why should he? It is very
hard to talk your way out of something you have behaved your way into. For his
entire life, Junior had been able to act as he pleased, without any consequence.
Why should he believe now that they meant business? Consequently, within a few
weeks,Junior pulled another tirade and walked off the job. He left on Friday,
announcing that he would never be back, as he had a dozen times before.
